“You’re Just Saying That.” Contingencies of self-worth, suspicion, and authenticity in the interpersonal affirmation process

Abstract

A model of the role and costs of contingent self-worth in the partner-affirmation process was tested. Actors whose self-worth was contingent on appearance or intelligence claimed to have expressed their particular heightened sensitivity to their romantic partners. Suggesting a cost to these reactions, actors’ beliefs about having expressed heightened sensitivity, in turn, predicted their doubts about the authenticity of partners’ positive feedback in the domain of contingency, independently of whether partners claimed to deliver inauthentic feedback. Suggesting a cost for partners, partners of contingent actors appeared to detect actors’ expressions of sensitivity in the domain of contingency and respond by delivering inauthentic feedback to actors in the domain, which in turn predicted partners’ increased relationship anxiety and decreased satisfaction. Results suggest that contingent self-worth may undermine the functioning of the partner-affirmation process through actors discrediting partners’ positive feedback and partners behaving in an inauthentic and controlled manner.

Revising Working Models Across Time: Relationship Situations That Enhance Attachment Security

“…Highly anxious individuals often detect inauthentic partner behavior, leading them to feel even more distressed and less satisfied (Lemay & Clark, 2008). When partners must constantly Attachment security enhancement model 33 manage the other's anxieties, they eventually become dissatisfied with the relationship.…”

Fostering relationship resilience: An intervention for low self-esteem individuals

“…doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2010.02.011 same with their partners' positive behaviors. LSEs often discount their partners' expressions of acceptance (Cameron, Stinson, Gaetz, & Balchen, in press;Gagne, Khan, Lydon, & To, 2008) and doubt the sincerity of their kind words (Lemay & Clark, 2008a, 2008bMarigold et al, 2007). 1 Compared to HSEs, LSEs naturally use more past tense when asked to describe a partner's compliment, implying that they limit the feedback to something their partner once said as opposed to taking it as an indication of their partner's current feelings about them (e.g.…”

“…If they perceive themselves as receiving ongoing admiration from their partner instead of a one-time compliment, LSEs' concerns about being unable to live up to their partners' lofty expectations should be alleviated. Describing the meaning and significance of the compliment should undermine LSEs' concern that their partner simply felt obligated to say something nice to them (Lemay & Clark, 2008b).…”

Climbing Mount Me

“…Furthermore, these negative effects of concern with self-esteem carry over to individuals' relationship partners. When individuals seek self-esteem through their relationship, their partners tend to pick up on those pursuits, provide inauthentic feedback and support, and experience less relationship satisfaction themselves (Lemay & Clark, 2008b).…”