Context. GRO J2058+42 is a transient hard X-ray pulsar that occasionally goes into outburst. The optical counterpart is a poorly studied OB-type companion. Aims. We investigate the long-term optical variability of the Be/X-ray binary GRO J2058+42 and the possible connection with periods of enhanced X-ray activity. Methods. We performed an optical spectroscopic and photometric analysis on data collected during about 18 years. We also present the first optical polarimetric observations of this source.Results. The long-term optical light curves in the BVRI bands and the evolution of the Hα equivalent width display a sinusoidal pattern with maxima and minima that repeat every ∼9.5 years. The amplitude of this variability increases as the wavelength increases from 0.3 mag in the B band to 0.8 in the I band. The Hα equivalent width varied from about −0.3 to −15 Å. We found a significant decrease in the polarization degree during the low optical state. The intrinsic polarization degree changed by ∼ 1% from maximum to minimum. The optical maxima occur near periods of enhanced X-ray activity and are followed by a drop in the optical emission. Unlike many other Be/X-ray binaries, GRO J2058+42 does not display V/R variability. Conclusions. The long-term optical variability agrees with the standard model of a Be/X-ray binary, where the circumstellar disk of the Be star grows and dissipates on timescales of 9-10 years. We find that the dissipation of the disk started after a major X-ray outburst. However, the stability of the Hα line shape as a double-peak profile and the lack of asymmetries suggest the absence of a warped disk and argue against the presence of a highly distorted disk during major X-ray outbursts.