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ObjectiveTo examine how older, heterosexual couples negotiate gendered power when both partners are retired.BackgroundAfter retirement, changes frequently prompt couples to renegotiate traditional, gender‐informed ways of relating. Although a shift toward less gender‐specific division of tasks has been identified in previous studies, it is unclear how underlying gendered power structures may also be transformed.MethodA constructivist grounded theory analysis was conducted of 18 interviews with a convenience sample of retired older couples (69–91 years of age) in Southern California.ResultsThree patterns were identified that kept couples engaged in stereotypic gendered processes: (a) women's relational responsibility, (b) masked inequality, and (c) men's marketing of traditional gender‐specific processes. In addition, four patterns were identified that moved couples closer to mutuality: (a) equal attunement to one another, (b) mutual decision‐making, (c) connecting with socioemotional context, and (d) recognition of inequality.ConclusionRetired couples seeking relational help may be experiencing a gap between ideals of mutuality and the persistence of gendered power.ImplicationsThis study shows that gendered power dynamics may be somewhat masked among older couples. Practitioners are advised to address the subtle ways that relational dynamics may remain gendered and the extent to which that limits closeness and connection within the relationship. Specific areas therapists should explore with clients are provided.

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