Purpose This paper aims to explore small firm perceptions of coopetition, focusing on coopetitive tension, balance and value appropriation realised in dyadic relationships, not considered holistically in previous research. Design/methodology/approach The authors use seven cases of small firms as the empirical foundation of this study and analysed data thematically. Findings The findings show that precursors to coopetitive tension in dyads influence friction in these relationships, as firms seek to achieve balance. Balance is dynamic as firms continuously appraise their positions to determine the benefits realised from coopetition. The extent to which firms act cooperatively or competitively is influenced by their perception of fair value appropriation for sustained coopetitive relationships. Research limitations/implications Because of the research design findings are not generalisable but provide insight into small firm coopetitive relational dynamics. Future research should explore how industry differences influence firms’ perceived precursors to coopetitive tension and value appropriation based on boundary conditions. Practical implications Small firms can proactively address coopetitive tension by developing relationships with potential partner firms through trialling smaller projects and increasing awareness of how their competitive or cooperative behaviours might influence the actions of their counterpart. Originality/value This study advances a theoretical framework integrating coopetitive tension, balance and value appropriation, as opposed to earlier fragmented approaches. The framework reveals that precursors to coopetitive tension are continuously appraised as firms act in cooperative or competitive ways. These interactions imply that firms will take a position of balance that provides complementary benefits.