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Passion and sexual satisfaction typically diminish in longer-term relationships, but this decline is not inevitable. We identified the attitudes and behaviors that most strongly differentiated sexually satisfied from dissatisfied men and women who had been together for at least three years (N = 38,747). Data were collected in 2006 from cohabiting and married men (M) and women (W) via an online survey on a major national U.S. news Web site. The vast majority of these participants reported being satisfied with their sex lives during their first six months together (83% W; 83% M). Satisfaction with their current sex lives was more variable, with approximately half of participants reporting overall satisfaction (55% W; 43% M) and the rest feeling neutral (18% W; 16% M) or dissatisfied (27% W; 41% M). More than one in three respondents (38% W; 32% M) claimed their sex lives were as passionate now as in the beginning. Sexual satisfaction and maintenance of passion were higher among people who had sex most frequently, received more oral sex, had more consistent orgasms, and incorporated more variety of sexual acts, mood setting, and sexual communication. We discuss implications of these findings for research and for helping people revitalize their sex lives.

Some researchers have illustrated how the Internet can provide users with an ideal atmosphere to explore sexuality; however, most have stressed the Internet’s negative impact on intimate relationships. Notably, much of this research has focused on the small minority of men who compulsively engage in online sexual activities (OSA), overlooking the majority of men and women who use OSA recreationally (either individually or with a partner). Addressing these limitations, data on heterosexual adults in committed relationships were taken from the 2004 “ELLE/msnbc.com Cyber-sex and Romance Survey” (n = 8,376). In quantitative analyses, men were less likely than women to express concerns and more likely to hold favorable attitudes about their partner’s OSA. With regard to the impact of OSA on intimate relationships, men and women did not differ in becoming “more open to new things,” and finding it easier “to talk about what [they] want sexually.” Negative impacts were also identified, with women more likely to indicate they had less sex as a result of a partner’s OSA, and men more likely to indicate they were less aroused by real sex as a result of their own OSA. Generally, qualitative results mirrored quantitative ones. Additionally, qualitative data suggested that moderate or light amounts of OSA yield relationship benefits for both female and male users, including increases in the quality and frequency of sex, and increased intimacy with real partners. In addition, men who used the Internet moderately, and men and women who reported being light users, stated that engaging in tandem OSA fostered better sexual communication with partners. Findings underscore the need to explore further the impact that online sexual activities can have on real-life committed relationships.

No abstract

Drawing on 25,185 responses collected via an online news website, our findings extend and update Fischer and Oliker’s (1983) classic study on gender and life cycle differences in friendship. We found no substantial gender differences in number of friends people can count on to celebrate birthdays, discuss intimate matters like one’s sex life, or depend upon when experiencing trouble late at night ( ds = .04–.20); however, number of friendships varied substantially according to marital status, age, and parental status. Residential population size was not associated with number of friendships. We also found that virtually all respondents reported having at least one close friend. Satisfaction with friends was a better predictor of life satisfaction than was number of friends.