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Immersing researchers in sensitive and emotive topics such as death, dying and bereavement may result in periods of conflicting logical thoughts and subjective feelings that need to be acknowledged and supported. The question to be answered in this research was ‘How do we create compassionate schools?’ which led to the interviewing of bereaved school community members in regional areas in Victoria, Australia. As anticipated, Carla, one of the researchers who had experienced recent family deaths was challenged by particular issues arising in interviews and through the transcribing process. Therefore, the purpose of this article is to discuss this complexity, with grounded theory as a conduit, reflexivity and critical reflection as combined tools and compassion as a way forward. We draw upon Carla’s methodological reflective journal and current health literature concerning sensitive topics in qualitative research. Recommendations of how to support researchers and research teams managing sensitive topics are provided and suggestions of how compassion can be achieved and extended to researchers are offered.

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Objective: This article offers a framework to guide schools in developing a compassionate culture. Using a social constructionist/critical perspective, five spheres of work are identified to help schools achieve this goal. Framing death, dying and bereavement from a health promoting perspective, they involve challenging current cultural perceptions, creating a culture of support, creating a grief-informed culture, establishing a culture of reflection and reflexivity, and developing a whole school plan. Setting: Eight rural primary school communities in central Victoria, Australia. Method: Constructivist grounded theory with interviews and analysis occurring concurrently, allowing categories to develop alongside new questions to explore participants’ thinking and priorities. Results: Participants’ insights, knowledge and priorities fostered understanding and led to the five strategies for change that underpin this framework. Conclusion: Study participants’ desire for a societal, cultural shift in how to understand death, dying and bereavement issues in school communities serves as an important foundation for change.