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The purpose of this article is to understand how men who have faced difficulties in conceiving with their partners and have become fathers by means of nonnormative modes of reproduction see and portray themselves in the reproductive process. Narratives by 16 fathers who resorted to assisted reproduction and/or adoption are analyzed and compared in order to learn how they describe their participation in these processes. Unstructured interviews that favor the emergence of narratives describing men’s experience in reproduction processes were conducted. In men’s assisted reproduction narratives, men portray themselves as secondary and nonactive characters. By contrast, in narratives about adoption, men center themselves as co- or equal actors. Becoming fathers is a central aspect of Chilean men’s lives and identities. However, they are still looking for ways to validate their position in the reproductive process.

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This article seeks to understand how men that are going to become fathers for the first time in Chile, anticipate fatherhood. To achieve this purpose, 14 men that were close to having their first child were interviewed. Three topics are studied in depth: 1. The expectations surrounding fatherhood, 2. The masculine experiences of pregnancy and 3. The experiences surrounding antenatal health care. The men want to be involved and caring fathers, but still consider that their primary role is to provide. They are very conscious of the protagonism that pregnancy gives to their couples and see themselves as companions in the process. They feel their couples have a physical and direct relationship with their future child, while they can only have an indirect experience mediated by the female body and technology. They value the moments in which they have been able to ‘feel’ the baby (listen to its heartbeats, see it in ultrasounds, feel its movements). They believe it is natural that their couples are the center of attention during prenatal checkups, but some feel patronized by the healthcare professionals. The men perceive the process of waiting for the baby as profoundly differentiated by gender.

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