No abstract

[straipsnis ir santrauka lietuvių kalba; santrauka anglų kalba] Sunki šio straipsnio tema, nes Janinos Degutytės atvejis atskleidžia tamsiąją motinystės pusę. Poetė vaikystėje buvo patyrusi skaudžią motinos nemeilę ir girtuoklystę. Degutytės santykio su motina atvejis yra išskirtinis ne tik patirtimi, bet, visų pirma, jos išsakymu.Straipsnyje susipina fenomenologinė antropologinė ir naratologinė prieigos. Abi kartu jos leidžia suprasti, kaip pasakojamas savas gyvenimas, jo skaudžiosios vietos ir kartu kaip gyvenama pasakojant, o ir nepasakojant. Atidžiai skaitomi išlikę smulkūs autobiografiniai tekstai ir motinai skirti eilėraščiai. Tačiau tiltas, atvedęs į poetinius ir autobiografinius tekstus, yra Degutytės ir jos motinos išlikęs susirašinėjimas. Būtent laiškai suteikia gyvenimišką tūrį ir tvermę, priverčia suprasti motinos ir dukters santykį kaip viso gyvenimo klausimą.

The model of the exchangeable identity is widely spread out in the academic discourse as well as in the common thought. On the contrary this paper deals with the passive identity as the sameness that functions in the corporeality of senses or acts. The passive identity anchored in a flesh in question here is treated as a generator of the declared identity.The following considerations in the paper are based on the novel Blūdas by Julijonas Lindė-Dobilas. The considerations begin with the identity set from the outside; then they cross over to specific experiential fields in which the own incorporated identity is recognized and elucidated for self awareness. The novel Blūdas is interpreted as the text where the national self-consciousness unfolds.

The paper is based on the concept of experiencing consciousness that embraces the experience expressed in the text and the lived pre-textual experience. The reversibility of the fiction and the experienced reality is investigated.The investigation discovers the map of the town constantly recurring in the poetry of Nyka-Niliūnas. This reconstructed map is identical to the native town of the poet. The town reveals itself in the poetry as the own lived town of the speaker.The same topography of the town is repeated in the diaries in the forms of the dreams as well as of the reminiscences. The special substrate of the speaking consciousness is evident. The interconnection between the three modes of consciousness – poetic, remembering and the dreaming – is exposed. All the three intensive forms of the consciousness deal with the personal identity. The recurrence of the space of the town is motivated and the perpetual return to the same space is clarified.

No abstract