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The UK's Medical Research Council (MRC) introduced a specific policy and procedure for inquiring into allegations of scientific misconduct in December 1997; previously cases had been considered under normal disciplinary procedures. The policy formally covers staff employed in MRC units, but those in receipt of MRC grants in universities and elsewhere are expected to operate under similar policies. The MRC's approach is stepwise: preliminary action; assessment to establish prima facie evidence of misconduct; formal investigation; sanctions; and appeal. Strict time limits apply at all stages. The procedure will be evaluated after two years. The indications so far are that the procedure is robust, and its clarity and transparency have been an asset to all parties. The MRC is also convinced that it is equally important to achieve a working culture that fosters integrity. Thus education and training in good research practices are fundamental to the prevention of research misconduct.

If you turn to the television comedy archive channel on your multimedia display system you should be able to locate a series of political satires called Yes Prime Minister. Created 20 years ago, they remain hugely popular today. Dear reader in 2055, I'd like to think their linguistic contortions are sufficiently timeless to make you laugh too. In one episode the PM, Jim Hacker, plans to cancel an order for a very expensive nuclear missile. Sir Humphrey Appleby, Civil Service supremo, tries to argue him out of it. The verbal exchange hinges on the concept of uncertainty on the part of those at whom the missile might be directed. Appleby: 'It's a deterrent.' Hacker: 'It's a bluff. I probably wouldn't use it.' Appleby: 'Yes, but they don't know that you probably wouldn't.' Hacker: 'They probably do.' Appleby: 'Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't. But they can't certainly know.' Hacker: 'They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't.' Appleby: 'Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that, although you probably wouldn't, there's no probability that you certainly would.'