The mother‐daughter relationship is seen as complex, unique, and emotionally charged, with adolescence being the most difficult period for this dyad. Yet much of the literature has highlighted the struggle of adolescents, while underemphasizing that many of their mothers themselves are confronting their own developmental issues at this time. In this article, the developmental tasks and dyadic issues of adolescent daughters (aged 13–19) and their midlife mothers (aged 35–55) are examined from a psychodynamic perspective. The authors posit that both mother and daughter are experiencing a lifecycle crisis of separation and self‐definition. Drawing from psychoanalytic and lifespan developmental literature as well as their own clinical experience, the authors propose that the current generation of mothers and daughters requires a new look at old models, parts of which may still be relevant and parts of which need to be revised or dropped. The issues of competition and rebellion as they relate to separation and self‐definition are also addressed.

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