Giant mole-rats ( Fukomys mechowii ) are remarkably long-lived subterranean rodents (maximum recorded lifespan as reported here greater than 26 years) that live in families with one reproductive pair (breeders) and their non-reproductive offspring (non-breeders). Previous studies have shown that breeders live on average approximately twice as long as non-breeders, a finding contradicting the classic trade-off between reproduction and lifespan. Because recent evidence points to the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis as playing an important role in shaping the pace of ageing in mole-rats, we analysed the influence of the social environment of giant mole-rats on intrafamilial aggression levels, indicators of long-term stress, and, ultimately, mortality. Behavioural data indicated that family constellation, especially the presence or the absence of parents, influences agonistic behaviour. As a measure of long-term stress, we established a non-invasive method of extracting and measuring cortisol from hair of giant mole-rats. Interestingly, orphaned non-breeders exhibited significantly lower levels of cortisol and lower mortality rates than did non-breeders living with both parents. Because hypercortisolism is harmful in the long-term, intrafamilial stress could help explain the earlier onset of senescence in non-breeders, resulting in a shorter lifespan. Our findings suggest that the social environment should be considered as a further factor in ageing studies involving group-living animals. This article is part of the theme issue ‘Ageing and sociality: why, when and how does sociality change ageing patterns?’