Caregivers are a largely understudied, unsung population who shoulder many of the social and psychological costs of mental illness. This study examines the load of caregiving during symptomatic and stabilised phases of the mentally ill and the various ways in which family members adapt themselves to give care. Drawing its data from 200 families with mental illness in Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka, the study diffuses the notion of care as physical, medical, psychological and social. The article focuses on how the gender of the affected person affects caregiving and underlines the indispensability of the family. Used to giving credit for any improvement to doctors and medicines, the study records the Indian Journal of Gender Studies 18(3) 405-424