Close relationships research has examined committed couples (e.g., dating relationships, marriages) using intensive methods that plot relationship development over time. But a substantial proportion of people's real-life sexual experiences take place (a) before committed relationships become "official" and (b) in short-term relationships; methods that document the time course of relationships have rarely been applied to these contexts. We adapted a classic relationship trajectory-plotting technique to generate the first empirical comparisons between the features of people's real-life short-term and long-term relationships across their entire timespan. Five studies compared long-term and short-term relationships in terms of the timing of relationship milestones (e.g., flirting, first sexual intercourse) and the occurrence/intensity of important relationship experiences (e.g., romantic interest, strong sexual desire, attachment). As romantic interest was rising and partners were becoming acquainted, long-term and short-term relationships were indistinguishable. Eventually, romantic interest in short-term relationships plateaued and declined while romantic interest in long-term relationships continued to rise, ultimately reaching a higher peak. As relationships progressed, participants evidenced more features characteristic of the attachment-behavioral system (e.g., attachment, caregiving) in long-term than short-term relationships but similar levels of other features (e.g., sexual desire, self-promotion, intrasexual competition). These data inform a new synthesis of close relationships and evolutionary psychological perspectives called the Relationship Coordination and Strategic Timing (ReCAST) model. ReCAST depicts short-term and long-term relationships as partially overlapping trajectories (rather than relationships initiated with distinct strategies) that differ in their progression along a normative relationship development sequence. (PsycINFO Database Record

This research examined how people’s ideal friend preferences influence the friendship formation process. In an extension of prior research on romantic relationship initiation, we tested whether the match between participants’ ideals and a partner’s traits affected participants’ interest in forming a new friendship in three contexts: evaluating a potential friend’s profile, meeting in-person, and chatting online. Results revealed that participants were more interested in becoming friends with a partner whose traits matched (vs. mismatched) their ideal friend preferences when evaluating his or her profile. After a live interaction, however, the effect of the ideal-perceived trait match manipulation on participants’ friendship interest was substantially reduced in both in-person and online chatting contexts. People’s ideal friend preferences may influence their friendship interest more strongly in descriptive (i.e., indirect) than interactive (i.e., direct) contexts, a finding that mirrors prior results from the romantic domain and documents a role for domain-general relationship initiation processes.

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How do online daters come to understand and make sense of their online dating experiences and the algorithms that underlie online dating platforms? Across two mixed-method studies, we take a metaphoric approach to identify and explore people’s folk theories about traditional dating, online dating, and online dating algorithms. In Study 1, we take a quantitative approach and use an innovative wiki-survey procedure to identify individuals’ folk theories of online dating and their associated themes through content analyses. In Study 2, we take a qualitative approach, exploring participants’ folk theories through in-depth interviews, extended case method, and grounded theory. Our studies uncovered two folk theories unique to traditional dating ( movies, nurturing), one folk theory unique to online dating ( game), three folk theories related to online dating algorithms ( filter, personalized advertisements, bracket), and two folk theories that were found to overlap between traditional and online dating ( shopping, chance and randomness). Our findings provide novel insights into how daters make sense of traditional and online relationship development processes as well as the algorithms that underlie online dating platforms.

From conveying intimacy (“I like you”) to irritation (“stop messaging me!”) and dissatisfaction (“I don’t think we’ll work out”), language use plays a fundamental yet often overlooked role in the initiation of relationships. In online dating, daters exchange messages to determine how interested they are in a partner and whether they would like to go on a first date with them. In two studies, we examined whether linguistic features present in online dating messages can predict whether a first date took place. In Study 1, we identified five interpersonal processes related to first date outcomes: investment, interdependence, emotional dynamics, decision-making, and coordination. In Study 2, we tested our hypotheses generated from Study 1 on a new dataset. Our results suggest that certain linguistic features within online dating messages can be used to predict above chance the likelihood of going on a first date.