This chapter highlights the role of the “snobs” in complicating the English language. The whole idea that there was a “correctness” to aim for in English developed slowly, but really took off in the 18th century. It was the age of etiquette and the codification of social rules. Pretty soon there were books on good language too. The first major dictionary of English, Samuel Johnson's dictionary of 1755, was published during this time, and it became a source of authority for spelling. But the advice books and newspaper columns on language usage that followed in the 19th century were more extreme in their pronouncements. In this environment of very public, and intentionally humiliating, language monitoring, a cloud of insecurity developed and perpetuated itself. It is important to note that the Standard English—the “correct,” authorized version—is unsystematic and illogical enough on its own. Some of that is the result of the natural accumulation of historical forces, but some of it comes from intentional meddling.

This chapter tells the story of how English got to be the weird way it is, which begins with the Germanic languages and the barbarians who spoke them. During the 5th century, an assortment of them poured across the North Sea, from what is today Denmark, the Netherlands, and Northern Germany, and conquered most of England. After about a century of the Germanic tribes taking over and settling in, the Romans returned. This time it was not soldiers but missionaries who arrived. The monks who came to convert the island to Christianity brought their Latin language with them, and they also brought the Latin alphabet. They set about translating religious texts into the language of the people they encountered, a language that by this time had coalesced into something that was Old English. However, there is another group of barbarians to blame: the Vikings. Their language was similar enough to Old English that they could communicate with the Anglo-Saxons without too much difficulty, and over time their own way of speaking mixed into the surrounding language, leaving vocabulary and expressions behind that do not quite fit the rest of the pattern at the old Germanic layer.

This chapter evaluates how, over the centuries, as English became increasingly used in official institutions, written, taught, codified, and standardized, not only did the language change, but our idea of what the language is changed. All languages have rules—even unwritten, uncodified vernaculars. Linguistic rules are patterns, conventions for making utterances, that conform to certain general (though much debated) principles of human language ability. Languages that are written, codified, and standardized also have explicitly endorsed or prescribed rules. Rules that are taught and enforced to a certain degree, but not necessarily followed. Correctness in language can be defined in relation to rules that are either tacit conventions or explicitly formalized prescriptions. Over time, because language is something people do, both kinds of rules will change. Language also interacts with formal logic, the axioms and rules of inference, but it plays by its own rules. Ultimately, when it comes to language, we are creatures of habit and creatures of creativity.

This chapter focuses on the role of the printing press in the standardization of the English language. A few centuries after the Norman conquest, by the end of the 1300s, English was again a written language. However, there was no agreement on the correct way to write or spell to use as a guide. Some standards started to emerge after the Court of Chancery switched to English in about 1430. This loose, emerging standard came to be known as Chancery English. Then, in 1476, a merchant named William Caxton brought an amazing new invention back to England from the continent: the printing press. This happened to take place during the middle of a major shift in English pronunciation. From the 14th century to the 17th century, the vowel system of English underwent a massive reorganization called the Great Vowel Shift. By the time the Great Vowel Shift had spread through most of the country in spoken language, the writing system, aided by the printing press, had solidified into a standard that was taught, propagated, and reinforced constantly.

This chapter explains the role of the French in the weirdness of English. In 1066, William the Conqueror, the Duke of Normandy, came over from France to defeat the English king and claim the throne. For the next few hundred years, England was controlled by French speakers. But the majority of people in England, those who did not rule, preach, study, or own land, did not become French speakers. Nevertheless, the ruling language managed to mix its way in. Because they controlled all official institutions, the vocabulary of government, law, and land administration came to be overwhelmingly rooted in Norman influence. Ultimately, the French transformed the vocabulary of English not just by introducing French words in almost every aspect of life, but also by providing an easy gateway to Latin borrowing and word creation. The French also introduced new word stress patterns that created confusion and splits based on stress alone, and left behind old word forms and phrase ordering. It even encouraged the development of a new English speech sound with its own letter, v.