PurposeNarrative-driven, choice-based games, games that allow gamers to make decisions regarding the game characters and storylines, can bring forth emotional changes in their players and offer empathy during scenarios that a player may not experience in real-world situations. Therefore, they can be used as tools to help with gender nonconforming (GNC) individuals’ resilience regarding their gender identities. This study explores GNC peoples’ game-playing experiences with choice-based games, especially how such experiences help them gain resilience and shape their gender identities.Design/methodology/approachThis study follows the classic phenomenological approach to understanding the experience of GNC gamers’ resilience experience from their own perspectives. In-depth interviews were conducted with 12 GNC participants, aged between 18 and 34. Each interview lasted 45–90 minutes. Interviews were transcribed and coded using NVivo R1. The essence of meanings was identified using themes and interpreted through qualitative analysis.FindingsThis paper identified six gender- and resilience-related common themes within GNC people’s gaming experiences, including 1) character creation: exploring gender identity through an avatar; 2) self-exploration and experimentation in games; 3) resonating experiences; 4) positive inclusive features in games; 5) storytelling and involving the player and 6) your actions have meaning.Practical implicationsThe themes, patterns and game features identified in this study may provide insight into potential resilience-building activities for GNC people. They may inform digital mental health interventions, information services and game design practices.Social implicationsEquity, inclusion and social justice have become a significant theme in today’s society. This study focuses on a marginalized community, GNC people and their mental health and resilience building. Results of the study will contribute to the understanding of this community and may inspire more intervention methods to help them cope with stress and difficult situations.Originality/valueResearch on gaming’s health benefits for the general population has been abundant, but studies about using games to help the LGBTQ+ community have been largely overlooked until recent years. Research on casual games’ mental benefits for LGBTQ+ people is particularly lacking. This research is one of the first in-depth, comprehensive investigations of GNC individuals’ resilience experiences with a particular type of casual video games, choice-based games. The phenomenological study offers rich description of gaming and gender identity exploration from gamers’ viewpoints.