“A Blessing and a Curse” Couples Dealing with Ambivalence Concerning Grandparental Involvement During the Transition to Parenthood—A Longitudinal Study

Abstract

This contribution provides an investigation of first-time parents’ experiences and strategies in dealing with ambivalence—i.e., the simultaneous presence of contradictory emotions—regarding grandparental involvement during the transition to parenthood. The study is based on qualitative longitudinal case studies comprising in-depth individual interviews with 11 Austrian couples of first-time mothers and fathers prebirth, and six months and two years after childbirth ( n = 66 interviews). Parents reported ambivalent feelings toward grandparental involvement during all stages of the transition process. We identified three parental strategies for dealing with ambivalence: inclusion, delimitation, and exclusion. Intracouple dynamics are shown to be the key aspect in the variation of these strategies over time. These dynamics are captured in three longitudinal patterns: parallel, divergent, and convergent paths. Overall, the study points to the complexity and fluidity of intergenerational relationships and demonstrates the challenges of negotiating ambivalence within couples and families during the transition to first-time parenthood.

Grandmothers are part of the parenting network, too! A longitudinal study on coparenting, maternal sensitivity, child attachment and behavior problems in a Chinese sample

“…However, a few months later this behavioral pattern disappeared, and it was not observed in grandmothers. Since parents may often experience the simultaneous presence of contradictory emotions regarding grandmother's involvement (Zartler et al., 2021 ), during the earlier stage of coparenting it might be difficult for mothers to develop effective strategies to deal with these ambivalent feelings. An alternative interpretation might be that in those families in which coparenting behaviors occur at high frequency both supportive and undermining interactions may be observed at elevated levels and consequently become positively correlated.…”

Psychological Challenges of Transition to Parenthood in First-time Parents

“…Sometimes, these disagreements occurred between the parents and the grandparents of the child, and most of the time, the couples were too much dependent on their families; there was no restructuring and readjustment with the original families. Numerous couples with this problem stated that they had excessively unplanned and unrestricted relations with the families of origin due to the wife's employment or proximity of their place of residence to the family of origin (Zartler, Schmidt, Schadler, Rieder & Richter, 2021).…”

The role of grandparents in the transition to parenting: a scoping review

“…6 Grandmothers were identified as the main support of pregnant women, providing them with information, guidance and emotional support. 11,12 Grandmothers are the ones who have the role of preserving cultural traditions related to this period, they are repositories of knowledge about local medicine and decision-makers in health-seeking behaviors, that is, they decide where childbirth takes place and the need to resort to health services. 11 In a study conducted in an African country, Namibia, 13 three domains were identified in which grandmothers contribute, namely: a) learning to be mothers, through representations of care and examples, as well as information; b) support in breastfeeding; and c) health and well-being in the postnatal period.…”

“…Ambivalent feelings arise when the involvement of grandparents in one or more domains, whether affective, cognitive or behavioral, does not correspond to the wishes and expectations of parents. 12 This ambivalence also exists when there are divergent views of parents and grandparents in relation to concepts and convictions about pregnancy, education, childcare, nutrition, or other fundamental aspects in raising children. In the same study, these ambivalent feelings also occurred when grandparents questioned the roles and attitudes of parents and there were critical judgments of grandparents about their parenting abilities.…”

“…Another aspect related to ambivalent feelings in the involvement of grandparents is at the behavioral level, when the grandparents do not respect the limits imposed by the parents and, at the affective level, when it involves disappointment with emotional aspects of the relationships, namely feelings of competition between parents and grandparents. 12 A study conducted in China 21 identifies that grandparents are expected to support parents during the transition to parenthood, even without parents asking for it. The study mentions that, regarding postpartum and newborn care, parents identify a significant gap between their beliefs and those of their grandparents, noting that the approaches of the older generation are outdated and unscientific.…”