This article reflects on my journey conducting online ethnography through Iraqi, Saudi, Kuwaiti and Yemeni feminist Twitters as an Iraqi researcher residing in the United Kingdom. It examines the intersection of online ethnography and feminist activism, emphasising the essential role of long-term immersion in social media spaces as an activist prior to undertaking this type of research. I gained crucial insights into the complexity, fluidity and emotional dynamics of online spaces and relationships through years of visible presence and engagement with other activists before conducting my ethnography. While some level of intimacy and affiliation with feminist activists existed, the absence of offline encounters posed challenges to forging friendships; however, this difficulty served as a catalyst for developing an ethical method to navigate relationships with participants and address the limitations of a friendship-based approach. In this article, I propose an alternative approach centred around a fellowship affiliation, approaching other activists as ‘fellows’ in the two Arabic senses of zamāla and rifqa (peer- and comrade-driven) relationships. This shift in the researcher–participant relationship moves away from the intense and demanding nature of the ṣadāqah (friendship) relationship. In doing so, it offers a politically powerful stance and a much-needed critical space for constructive debate while maintaining mutual respect and a shared commitment to the cause. The fellowship-based method necessitates activist transparency and critical allyship dedicated to collaboration and unconventional methods of knowledge co-production, promising solidarity and transcending differences and disagreements. Nonetheless, achieving this can, at times, be challenging. While acknowledging the limitations of the approach, the article recognises that moments of silence or distance can also arise from a sense of activist responsibility and commitment to protecting others.