PurposeThis conceptual article develops a theory-based set of themes that characterize how a leader and member interact based on their attachment style, motivation to lead and follow and their interpersonal orientation.Design/methodology/approachThis study proposes that the leader's and member's attachment styles, effectuated by their motivation to lead and/or follow and their interpersonal orientation, determine the emergence of primary (most frequently occurring) and secondary (less frequently occurring) leader–member relationship (LMR) themes.FindingsThe themes are labelled mutual affirmation, control, prestige, mutual indifference, conflict, imbalance and co-dependence. The article describes how these seven themes are grounded in their own streams of research, including leader–member exchange (LMX) as the basis for the first three, and how the themes vary in behaviors that generate the operational outcomes of psychological safety, proactivity and functionality, which, in turn, yield performance outcomes. Performance outcomes affect the leader's and member's perceptions of their relationship and their anticipation for the future. Leader–member similarity, situational pressures and perceptions of others' relationships moderate LMR development.Research limitations/implicationsEach theme reflects a pattern of interactions that produces degrees of psychological safety felt by the leader and member, proactivity of the leader and member to devote energy to their relationship and how well the leader and member function together. The behaviors, in turn, influence how the leader and member perceive each other and themselves and their anticipation for the future of the relationship.Practical implicationsThe model can be used by organizational development and human resource professionals to assess leader–member dyads and train leaders and members to be aware of factors that influence their relationship and how these factors affect performance outcomes.Originality/valueThe model contributes to the literature on leader–member relationships by suggesting a theory-based set of themes that characterize how the leader and team member interact and how their relationship develops.