Critically examining the relationship between race, Black female beauty, and hair texture, this qualitative study used narratives from 38 Black females between the ages of 19 and 81, to determine messages that communicate hair valuations to Black females, definitions of good and bad hair, and motivations for desiring good hair. A legacy of slavery, hair valuations reflect racially motivated beauty standards that work against Black females. As Chris Rock's Good Hair (2009) illustrates, the connection of hair to beauty intersect with race and gender, placing a particular burden on Black females whose naturally kinky hair textures are low on beauty continuums. Through communication from adults, peers, and males, Black females learn about good and bad hair valuations. However, participants' own descriptions of, and motivations for, good hair are more relevant to maintenance than beauty-bad hair needs straightening, good hair does not. Unstraightened, the shorter, kinky textures can be difficult to comb, style, and manage. Yet, it is the kinkiness that allows the creative diversity of popular Black hairstyles that, paradoxically, makes bad hair particularly good for unstraightened styles. Hair valuations are bad for Black females because they elevate White beauty standards and devalue hair textures common among Black females.KEYTERMS Black hair, color complex, colorism, good and bad hair, kink factor, White beauty standards In Black homes and communities all across the United States, there exists a hidden caste system with a long and painful history (Blay, 2010;Kerr,