Becoming Posthumous

Abstract

In this micro-memoir, I show how I adopted, like John Keats, a “posthumous existence.” I draw a parallel between his terminal tuberculosis and my own diagnosis of End-Stage Renal Failure though not between his brilliant talent as a poet and my own humble skills as an academic developer and writer. I also express my support for the idea of playing dead as a writer as suggested by the Nobel prizewinner Nadine Gordimer.

Common—Reading—Placing—Writing

“…These were suggestions rather than prescriptions though I may have failed to emphasize the distinction. My most recent attempts to characterize and improve my own (and others') common-writing include the following: (Badley, 2020c); • • working through writer's block by using a notebook as a journal of ideas about culture, narrative, politics, and solidarity during a pandemic lockdown (Badley, 2021b); • • creating our own narratives of everyday truth, our own interpretations and perspectives, means admitting that the idea there is some unmediated access to truth, a god's-eye view, out there, is a seductive fantasy (Badley, 2021a); • • adopting a posthumous posture, writing as if we were already dead, to inoculate ourselves against the intellectual and artistic viruses that try to infect us (Badley, 2022a(Badley, , 2022b.…”

“…I set these bits and pieces down in my commonplace books so that I could continue conversing and negotiating: All of us learn from the quick and the dead as we explore the work of other writers and all writing is motivated deep down by a fear of and a fascination with death (see Atwood, 2002, p. 156 and p. 178). I am nearly posthumous myself (see Badley, 2022aBadley, , 2022b, the common ending for us all. At least here I have used my own identity as an ordinary human "I" to sew together scraps from my common-reading and common-placing to create my common-writing.…”

“…I think, too, that one great benefit of my sort of life-writing is “the sense of solidarity and succor that a memoir can afford those who have undergone or are undergoing suffering or trauma” (see de Bres, 2021, p. 179). Furthermore, “making your life intelligible to yourself and others contributes to self-understanding and community” (de Bres, 2021, p. 196, and see also Badley, 2022a, 2022b). Such a claim indicates a common pursuit for all autoethnographers, even scrappy ones.…”

“…adopting a posthumous posture, writing as if we were already dead , to inoculate ourselves against the intellectual and artistic viruses that try to infect us (Badley, 2022a, 2022b).…”

“Sharing a Moment”: An Open Letter

“…In my quasi-posthumous persona, I may become what I want and do what I like. I can read and write freely and boldly ( dangerously in your terms) without worrying about being too personal or not academic enough or not complying with the dominant discourse or following the latest trends (see Badley, 2022a, 2022b, 2022c). These are my own great expectations : what larks!…”