Book Review: Chethik, Neil. (2006). VoiceMale: What Husbands Really Think about Their Marriages, Their Wives, Sex, Housework, and Commitment. New York: Simon & Schuster

Abstract

One of the overriding themes in this book is how the adolescents were engaged in "disrupting difference." First, not only did constructed gender differences exist between girls and boys, but they were also evident between boys and between girls and were dependent on the social setting. Instead of separately examining boys and girls, Messerschmidt examines their embodied masculine and feminine practices in the context of one another to show their similarities and differences. Second, his research also breaks down the sex-gender binary. Through life-history interviews, he is able to show how the gendered practices of his subjects do not always follow their "sex." For example, both of the girls in his study engaged in behaviors that would typically be classified as masculine practices.While this book provides an excellent account of the construction of gender through violence, it is limited by its small sample size and the fact that all of the youth are White. Even so, Flesh and Blood provides us with a glimpse into the embodied experiences of adolescents who are routinely involved in violent acts. I would recommend this book to researchers in criminology, gender studies, and masculinities. As in his previous work, Messerschmidt is able to show how studies of crime and violence can be enhanced by using a gendered analysis. Additionally, this book would make a great contribution to a graduate course on crime and gender. While the entire book may be daunting for undergraduates, I would encourage assigning the latter chapters as a way to illustrate the connections between gender and violence.

Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage

“…The claim rests on results of a small-scale ( N = 300) survey and reports of couples in therapy conducted by Chethik, which, while intriguing, are difficult to evaluate (Chethik 2006; cf. North 2007). Moreover, other research suggests that for all the benefits of peer marriage, more egalitarian couples are more likely to have unsatisfactory sex lives and experience a lack of passion due to habituation, and these differences are not explained by a shortage of time (Schwartz 1995).…”