Breakups Before Marriage: The End of 103 Affairs

Abstract

Factors that predicted breakups before marriage, investigated as part of a two-year study of dating relationships among college students, included unequal involvement in the relationship (as suggested by exchange theory) and discrepant age, educational aspirations, intelligence, and physical attractiveness (as suggested by filtering models). T h e timing of breakups was highly related to the school calendar, pointing to the importance of external factors in structuring breakups. T h e desire to break up was seldom mutual; women were more likely than men to perceive problems in premarital relationships and somewhat more likely to be the ones to precipitate the breakups. Findings are discussed in terms of their relevance for the process of mate selection and their implications for marital breakup. ("The best divorce is the one you get before you get married.") For all the concern with the high incidence of divorce in contemporary America, marital separation accounts for only a small proportion of the breakups of intimate male-female rela-

Emotional and Cognitive Coping in Relationship Dissolution

“…Sprecher (1994) found no significant difference between men's and women's experienced distress after a relationship breakup. This was in contrast to Hill, Rubin, and Peplau's (1976) study of 103 breakups, in which they found men experienced more depression, loneliness, and guilt after disengagement. Helgeson (1994) studied long distance relationship dissolution, and found that men experienced more distress when the breakup occurred, which was especially acute in men who did not initiate the breakup.…”

“…Some studies found women experience more distress in general, while others found no differences (Hill, et al, 1976;Sprecher, 1994). In addition to an examination of gender differences in distress, the present study explored the possibility of gender moderating the relationship between the coping variables and distress after dissolution.…”

“…This result is not entirely surprising due to the variety of significant predictors found in previous literature. Initiator status was significantly predictive of distress in several studies, with less participant participation correlating with worse mental health outcomes (Davis et al, 2003;Hill et al, 1976;Perilloux & Buss, 2008;Sprecher, 1994;Sprecher, Felmlee, Metts, Fehr, & Vanni, 1998). However, other studies did not find this relationship (Locker et al, 2010;Sbarra, 2006;Simpson, 1990;Tashiro & Frazier, 2003).…”

Machiavellianism and romantic relationship dissolution

“…Due to the poor relationship quality experienced by those high on Machiavellianism, we predicted lower post break up distress for those with high levels of Machiavellianism. Important sex differences occur with regard to relationship dissolution; for example women are more likely than men to initiate a break up (Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1976), cite different reasons for break ups (Lampard, 2014), and adjust better to relationship dissolution (Evans, Scourfield, & Moore, 2014;Helgeson, 1994). Furthermore, it has been argued that the influence of Machiavellianism on interpersonal relationships may differ for men and women (McHoskey, 2001).…”

“…In most Western societies, men and women follow a pattern of serial monogamy characterised by the repeated formation and dissolution of romantic relationships (Fisher, 1985;MacDonal, 1995). When relationships are terminated (i.e., a 'break up'), it is typically instigated by one member of the couple, with mutual agreement less prevalent (Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1976). Factors increasing the likelihood of relationship dissolution include a partner's failure to meet 2 expectations (e.g., sexual dissatisfaction), unequal commitment, a desire for freedom, and external factors (Connolly & McIsaac, 2009;Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1976;Sprecher, 1994).…”