Planet formation simulations are capable of directly integrating the evolution of hundreds to thousands of planetary embryos and planetesimals, as they accrete pairwise to become planets. In principle such investigations allow us to better understand the final configuration and geochemistry of the terrestrial planets, as well as to place our solar system in the context of other exosolar systems. These simulations, however, classically prescribe collisions to result in perfect mergers, but computational advances have begun to allow for more complex outcomes to be implemented. Here we apply machine learning to a large but sparse database of giant impact studies, streamlining simulations into a classifier of collision outcomes and a regressor of accretion efficiency. The classifier maps a 4-Dimensional parameter space (target mass, projectile-to-target mass ratio, impact velocity, impact angle) into the four major collision types: merger, "graze-and-merge", "hit-and-run", and disruption. The definition of the four regimes and their boundary is fully data-driven; the results do not suffer from any model assumption in the fitting. The classifier maps the structure of the parameter space and provides insights about the outcome regimes. The regressor is a neural network which is trained to closely mimic the functional relationship between the 4-D space of collision parameters, and a real-variable outcome, the mass of the largest remnant. This work is a prototype of a more complete surrogate model, based on extended sets of simulations ("big data"), that will quickly and reliably predict specific collision outcomes for use in realistic N -body dynamical studies of planetary formation.