This article examines the unspoken rules, routines, and rituals of the swimming pool, using ideas from negotiated order theory, Foucault, Goffman's dramaturgical theory, and symbolic interactionism. It identifies three sets of social norms: respect for personal space, respect for individuals' disciplinary regimes, and the desexualization of encounters. I show how these rules are (normally) followed or (occasionally) breached through various rituals, and examine the consequences for interaction order. The tale of “The Emperor's New Clothes” is used analogously to explain why actors cannot consciously attend to their precarious construction of reality, yet remain poised to defend it.