In many robotic applications, the joint is required to have a small volume, low weight and high torque output. In this paper, based on the finite element analysis (FEA), a 36-slot 40-pole outer rotor surface-mounted permanent magnet (OR-SPM) motor with concentrated winding is designed for the exoskeleton robot. The fractional slot concentrated winding (FSCW) is employed to reduce end winding height, leading better portability. Since the motor is relatively flat, the 3D end effect is critical to the electromagnetic performances. Special attention is paid to 3D end effect during the multi-objective optimization of the OR–SPM motor. In order to increase the ending torque output, the planetary reducer is located between OR–SPM motor and load, and then system level optimization covering motor and reducer is carried out to achieve best torque output. In addition, the force impendence control method with parameter self-adaptive capability is proposed to improve user experience of the exoskeleton robot, where the key parameters in the algorithm vary according to different actions of the exoskeleton. In addition, the inertia of load is calculated using the parameter identification based on least squares method. Finally, the prototype of the joint is fabricated and tested to validate the above FEA results and control method. The user experience of the exoskeleton robot is also covered.