Disarming Jealousy in Couples Relationships: A Multidimensional Approach

Abstract

Jealousy is a powerful emotional force in couples' relationships. In just seconds it can turn love into rage and tenderness into acts of control, intimidation, and even suicide or murder. Yet it has been surprisingly neglected in the couples therapy field. In this paper we define jealousy broadly as a hub of contradictory feelings, thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions, and consider how it can range from a normative predicament to extreme obsessive manifestations. We ground jealousy in couples' basic relational tasks and utilize the construct of the vulnerability cycle to describe processes of derailment. We offer guidelines on how to contain the couple's escalation, disarm their ineffective strategies and power struggles, identify underlying vulnerabilities and yearnings, and distinguish meanings that belong to the present from those that belong to the past, or to other contexts. The goal is to facilitate relational and personal changes that can yield a better fit between the partners' expectations.

Do Therapists Address Gender and Power in Infidelity? A Feminist Analysis of the Treatment Literature

“…The literature on the treatment of infidelity is extensive, and numerous models for working with couples dealing with an affair have been developed (e.g., Butler et al., 2008; Olmstead et al., 2009; Snyder, Baucom, & Gordon, 2008). Although some authors (i.e., Pittman & Wagers, 2005b; Scheinkman, 2005; Scheinkman & Werneck, 2010) discuss the importance of exploring infidelity from a societal, cultural, and gender framework, to our knowledge, this study is the first to utilize a feminist lens to systematically analyze how infidelity treatment is currently outlined and practiced. Our goal was to examine the treatment literature to develop grounded theory that explains how clinical models do or do not address larger societal concerns.…”

A Socio‐Emotional Relational Framework for Infidelity: The Relational Justice Approach

“…Research continues to find that more men than women are unfaithful (Allen & Baucom, ; Atkins et al, ; Blow & Hartnett, ). Thus, gender is an important consideration that interacts with other contextual factors to impact the origins of unfaithfulness (i.e., personality traits, family of origin issues, and increasing sexual freedom for women following the development of birth control) (Gordon, ; Scheinkman & Werneck, ; Schmitt, ).…”

Thematic review of family therapy journals 2010

“…There were useful clinical articles on a range of couples therapy issues including dealing with jealousy in couples (Scheinkman and Werneck, 2010) and therapy with older couples in which one spouse has acquired a hearing impairment (Yorgason et al, 2010), as well as informative research articles on issues such as the effectiveness of marriage preparation programmes (Halford et al, 2010) and the impact of couples therapy on depression (Tilden et al, 2010). In a US study Halford et al (2010) found that couples who attended a six-session relationship skill training programme showed greater improvement in communication and relationship satisfaction than couples who received feedback on their relationship, based on an online questionnaire assessment of their relationship.…”