Engineering coatings with precise physicochemical properties allows for control over the interface of a material and its interactions with the surrounding environment. However, assembling coatings with well‐defined properties on different material classes remains a challenge. Herein, we report a co‐assembly strategy to precisely control the structure and properties (e.g., thickness, adhesion, wettability, and zeta potential) of coatings on various materials (27 substrates examined) using quinone and polyamine building blocks. By increasing the length of the amine building blocks from small molecule diamines to branched amine polymers, we tune the properties of the films, including the thickness (from ca. 5 to ca. 50 nm), interfacial adhesion (0.05 to 5.54 nN), water contact angle (130 to 40°), and zeta potential (−42 to 28 mV). The films can be post‐functionalized through the in situ formation of diverse nanostructures, including nanoparticles, nanorods, and nanocrystals. Our approach provides a platform for the rational design of engineered, substrate‐independent coatings for various applications.