The demand for advanced nonlinear time‐history and seismic collapse simulations of old unreinforced masonry (URM) constructions to support informed risk evaluation and mitigation plans is rapidly increasing in the structural engineering profession. On one hand, offering cutting‐edge solutions based on the latest advances is challenging for practitioners, given the reduced timeframe usually available for projects and the specialized knowledge required. On the other hand, researchers frequently face difficulties in accessing old buildings and gathering key data required in complex numerical collapse analysis strategies. In this work, a pragmatic approach for evaluation of the earthquake collapse response of vulnerable old URM churches typical of the Northern Netherlands, now exposed to low‐magnitude induced seismicity due to gas extraction, is presented. To bridge the gap between academic and industry applications, an integrated framework is proposed that combines archival and onsite research, code‐based prescriptions, geometrical characterization and simplified discrete element modeling. Main outcomes include the identification of recurrent damage patterns for five old URM churches erected during the 11th, 13th, 14th, and 19th centuries, representative of key traditional multi‐leaf and cavity‐wall structural types, as well as relevant failure mechanisms and collapsed debris distributions for seismic signals of varying intensities. Produced results constitute a solid foundation of data on which to base the design of ad‐hoc retrofits and development of tailored risk assessment models. This study opens a new line of inquiry while discussing practical challenges and research questions which arose, to be of interest to both applied researchers and structural engineering professionals.