Family members’ uses of religion in post–coming-out conflicts with their gay relative.

Abstract

Religion often creates cultural meaning for interpersonal relations as individuals and societies develop interactively (Etengoff & Daiute, 2013). Religious tools, such as God and texts, have reportedly been used in both relationally adaptive and maladaptive ways (Brelsford & Mahoney, 2009;Brelsford, 2011). Extant research regarding relational uses of religion largely focuses on Christian dyads' general conflicts, as opposed to conflicts related to religious prohibitions. This study expands the current research regarding theistic triangulation (i.e., God/faith positioned as an ally against other party) and mediation (i.e., God/faith invoked constructively to mediate conflict), by focusing on gay men and their Jewish and Christian relatives' accounts of relational religious tool use (Brelsford & Mahoney, 2009;Brelsford, 2011). 23 gay men (10 Jewish backgrounds, 13 Christian backgrounds) and 15 of their religious family allies (7 Jewish, 8 Christian) completed semistructured interviews focusing on the quality of their post-coming-out relationships and how they use religion to negotiate associated conflicts. Interviews were analyzed utilizing an applied cultural historical analysis (Etengoff & Daiute, 2013). 74% (17/23) of gay men reported that their religious relatives utilized theistic triangulation in post-coming-out conflicts. 65% (15/23) of gay participants reported that theistic triangulation negatively impacted their familial relationships. Alternatively, 69% (16/23) of gay participants also spoke highly of religious family allies that navigated post-coming-out issues and conflicts effectively. These findings illuminate the necessity of including socioreligious contexts in our study and treatment of gay men and their religious families.

Online Coming-Out Communications Between Gay Men and Their Religious Family Allies: A Family of Choice and Origin Perspective

“…Narratives that concisely and comprehensively illustrate a type/goal of conflict or social media use were selected for inclusion (Etengoff & Daiute, 2014). Narratives that concisely and comprehensively illustrate a type/goal of conflict or social media use were selected for inclusion (Etengoff & Daiute, 2014).…”

“…(Etengoff & Daiute, 2014). Conflicts were identified based upon participants' responses to questions about family-of-origin tensions (e.g., "Is there someone in your family who is experiencing 'the most difficulty' in this process?…”

Clinicians’ Perspective of the Relational Processes for Family and Individual Development During the Mediation of Religious and Sexual Identity Disclosure

“…For example, a recent narrative study focusing on the post-disclosure familial conflicts of 23 gay men from fundamental Christian and Orthodox Jewish backgrounds found that 74% of participants reported that their familial conflicts were situated within religious contexts (Etengoff, 2013). Moreover, researchers suggest that while religious coping can successfully mediate cultural and familial conflicts (e.g., religiously reframing event, person, or the sacred to improve relations), religion is often used in relationally harmful ways as well (Brelsford & Mahoney, 2009;Etengoff & Daiute, 2014;Pargament, 1999). For example, religious Christians have reported incorporating God into their familial conflicts even at the cost of resolution failure (Butler & Harper, 1994).…”

“…Although this study did not include client/therapist dyad narratives due to such ethical concerns, a related study focusing on gay men's and their religious family allies' parallel post-disclosure experiences has been conducted (Etengoff, 2013;Etengoff & Daiute, 2014). Preliminary results from this study support the efficacy of clinicians' relationally complex recommendations as family dyads' reports suggest that positive allied interactions are achieved when both parties focus on understanding the shared human experience and the unique contexts of the others' standpoint (Etengoff, 2013).…”

Relações Entre Religiosidade E Homossexualidade Em Jovens Adultos Religiosos

“…As religiões possuem normas e códigos de conduta que podem atravessar de modo mais direto ou flexível a expressão das sexualidades, contribuindo para nortear práticas que se referem ao universo sexual e da intimidade, bem como dos relacionamentos interpessoais (Etengoff & Daiute, 2014;Jeffries et al, 2014). O que se observa, em grande parte das religiões existentes no contexto brasileiro, é uma atitude de cerceamento das expressões das sexualidades, buscando normatizações ou padrões que podem ou não ser seguidos por seus praticantes/adeptos.…”