Purpose
To explore the loss of a relative due to suicide.
Design and Methods
Ten survivors of relatives who had taken their lives were interviewed. Data was analyzed from a phenomenological perspective.
Findings
The survivors described how they witnessed the darkness that took over their relative's lifeworld. During the time before and after the suicide, the survivor felt barred from having a role in the relative's care.
Practice Implications
Understanding and exploring implicit dynamics, such as “a feeling of darkness taking over,” “a sense of relief,” or “putting on a mask” could be important for developing person‐centered suicide care.