Gone with the wind: Exploring mobile daters’ ghosting experiences

Abstract

This study explores 328 mobile daters’ (63% females; 86% heterosexuals) experiences with ghosting, using both open- and close-ended questions. First, we used thematic analysis to explore mobile dating app users’ motivations to ghost, the reported consequences of experiencing ghosting and reported strategies to cope with having been ghosted. Next, quantitative analyses were carried out to predict the likelihood of ghosting other users and which factors contribute to experiencing ghosting as more painful. As both our qualitative and quantitative analyses suggest, experiencing ghosting on a dating app can be quite painful and has an impact on users’ self-esteem and mental well-being. However, our findings on ghosters’ motives also stress a nuanced perspective on ghosting behavior, given that it is not necessarily done with harmful or conscious intent. As such, our findings also hold practical implications given that insights into mechanisms to cope with ghosting can help dating app users to rationalize their ghosting experience and thus limit its impact.

A multi-study examination of attachment and implicit theories of relationships in ghosting experiences

“…A growing amount of research has focused on the relationship dissolution strategy of ghosting. Prior research has sought to define ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019), explore rates and perceptions of ghosting (Freedman et al, 2019; LeFebvre, 2017), understand motivations for using ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019a, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019, 2020), describe reactions to ghosting experiences (LeFebvre & Fan, 2020; Manning et al, 2019, Timmermans et al, 2020), and has begun to explore individual differences in ghostees and ghosters (Freedman et al, 2019; Navarro et al, 2020). This set of studies had two purposes: (1) to broaden the research on individual differences in ghosting by examining the association between ghosting experiences and attachment, and (2) to replicate prior research on individual differences that had demonstrated an association between ghosting experiences and implicit theories of relationships.…”

“…Testimonials have revealed that ghosting has occurred at all points in relationships: after years of being together, while getting to know someone, or even after first connecting (Engle, 2019). Ghosting seems to be particularly common, though, on dating apps (De Wiele & Campbell, 2019; Timmermans et al, 2020) and among emerging adults. For example, two-thirds of college students report having been an initiator of ghosting (i.e., ghoster) and three-quarters had been the recipient (i.e., ghostee) within romantic relationships (Koessler et al, 2019b).…”

“…Individuals perceive a variety of motives for ghosting (Koessler et al, 2019a, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019, 2020; Manning et al, 2019; Timmermans et al, 2020). Ghosting may be a favorable dissolution strategy for some: ghosters experience less distress than individuals who engage in more direct dissolution strategies (Koessler et al, 2019a).…”

“…However, ghostees experience similar amounts of distress as their counterparts who were broken up with more directly (Koessler et al, 2019a). Furthermore, in response to ghosting, ghostees experience uncertainty and have acknowledged both effective and ineffective responses to being ghosted (LeFebvre & Fan, 2020; Timmermans et al, 2020). Continual experiences of ghosting can also be problematic.…”

“…Ghosting is often perceived as an unacceptable relationship termination strategy, but a large proportion of individuals have experienced ghosting in a romantic context (Freedman et al, 2019; Koessler et al, 2019b; LeFebvre et al, 2019; Timmermans et al, 2020). Yet less is known about individual differences in ghosting experiences.…”