Healing the wound that must not heal: Psychotherapy with survivors of domestic violence.

Abstract

An obstacle to recovery in therapy with survivors of incest and domestic violence is described. Inner conflict over whether to allow the psychic wound to heal is based on the client's unconscious belief that full recovery from the trauma would exonerate the perpetrator and be disloyal to other victims. Treatment implications are discussed.People who have been subjected to unusual psychic stress, such as survivors of the Nazi Holocaust, Vietnam veterans, and those who have been kidnapped, physically assaulted, or raped, often suffer from a constellation of psychological symptoms which have been termed the post-traumatic stress disorder (American Psychiatric Association, 1987). Recognizing this syndrome as one which results from extreme psychological stress, without postulating pre-existing psychopathology, has freed therapists from cumbersome assumptions and allowed therapeutic work to be focused on recovery from the trauma. The therapeutic goal is to assist the client in moving from victim to survivor status and in resuming normal life tasks (Ochberg, 1988). In the course of therapeutic work with victims of domestic violence (child abuse, incest, wife battering and marital rape), we have repeatedly encountered a phenomenon presenting an obstacle to recovery which we have come to call "the wound that must not heal.

The effects of forgiveness therapy on depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress for women after spousal emotional abuse.

“…Second, Seagull and Seagull (1991) described an obstacle to recovery for emotionally abused women labeled accusatory suf-fering, which entails maintaining resentment and victim status.…”

“…At a deeper level, accusatory suffering may be seen as a defense against the fear that the woman is somehow responsible for her own victimization, a fear that is often inculcated by the victimizer (Sackett & Saunders, 1999). Seagull and Seagull (1991) argued that although accusatory suffering (resentment and victim status) may function as a temporary strategy to help the woman adapt to the extreme experience of spousal emotional abuse, it seriously hinders substantial postrelationship, postcrisis recovery. Therefore, any treatment for these women should demonstrate a change in victim status.…”

Examining the Relationship between Domestic Violence and Depression among Koreans: The Role of Self-esteem and Social Support as Mediators

“…Domestic violence, as a stressful life event, can also have detrimental effect on self-esteem (Kim, 2002). Victims of domestic violence are known to exhibit poor self-esteem and report feeling helpless and powerless (Seagull & Seagull, 1991). Thus, it can be predicted that domestic violence affects depression by impairing the victims' self-esteem which may then increase the likelihood of having depressive symptoms.…”

“Accusatory Suffering” in the Offended Spouse

“…One dynamic that most of us have confronted is "accusatory suffering," a term coined by Seagull and Seagull (1991), to mean "a necessity to suffer and create a living memorial to the infidelity." In the AAMFT Clinical Update on Infidelity, Glass (2000) defines accusatory suffering as:…”