This article develops a theoretical concept that delineates the experience of disillusionment toward a deceased loved-one during the grieving process. Through clinical anecdote, film and autobiography, possible therapeutic initiatives are identified which may provide pastoral and clinical approaches to assist those whose grief is complicated by distressing and unexpected revelations requiring a reevaluation of their relationship with the loved-one who has died.

Describes the Enneagram as a useful personality typology for pastoral care, especially when dealing with the shadow dimensions of life usually associated with the concept of sin. Explores how the Enneagram contributes uniquely to pastoral counseling and spiritual direction by inviting individuals to dialogue with their distortions and brokenness in ways that do not invalidate the self or separate them from God."If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourseves and the truth is not in us"

The author reports on in-depth interviews with fourteen clergy--both male and female--along with their spouses to determine how they experience the stressors and marriages. These responses are compared with the literature currently available on clergy couples in relation to congregational systems. Recommendations are made for strengthening clergy marriage by identifying initiatives that may be taken during seminary and continued by local congregations and judicatories.

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