Infidelity and Revenge Fantasies: An Integrative Couple Therapy Approach

Abstract

Infidelity is a common and complex issue in couple therapy. As a result, much has been written about the prevalence and effects of infidelity, precipitating factors, and the reparation process. The revenge fantasy, however, a common byproduct of infidelity, has only received cursory attention in the clinical literature. This is both surprising and disconcerting when considering the potential consequences associated with vengeful responses. In an attempt to form a base for informed practice, this article draws upon information from the extant literature and clinical experience, and suggests treatment strategies for revenge fantasies using an integrative couple therapy framework

Unforgiveness Motivations in Romantic Relationships Experiencing Infidelity: Negative Affect and Anxious Attachment to the Partner as Predictors

“…A possible explanation could be that this type of people tends to be excessively preoccupied with possible rejection and/or abandonment, so they tend to increase the level of monitoring and control if they feel their partner is not receptive (Barry et al, 2007; Marshall et al, 2013). Consequently, given the suspicion that their partner can maintain a parallel relationship (Guerrero, 1998), they could respond with greater vengeful behavior (Besser and Priel, 2011), which could be oriented toward restoring the sense of injustice and mitigating the discomfort caused by the situation of infidelity (Fitness, 2001; Morrissette, 2012).…”

“…An unexpected finding in Study 2 was that mediation was not significant for avoidance motivation. Some research suggests that the stimulus that prevails in people suffering infidelity is retaliation or revenge against the partner because, in this way, the offended person fights the pain he or she experiences as a result of the betrayal (Fitness, 2001; Morrissette, 2012). Such a response could be appreciable in people with high anxious attachment as a result of the fear they show of their partner rejecting or abandoning them for a third person (Marshall et al, 2013).…”

“…Considering the above motivations, Worthington and Scherer (2004) pointed out that when an interpersonal event ensues, the offended person experiences a sense of injustice that he or she tries to restore, either through evasive behavior or through a manifest motivation for revenge in the form of repressive or coercive behavior against the transgressor. However, such behaviors arise mainly when severe situations such as infidelity occur, which is perceived by the offended party as an unforgivable betrayal (Fitness, 2001; Morrissette, 2012).…”

Problematic Pornography Use and Physical and Sexual Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration Among Men in Batterer Intervention Programs

“…In his review of pornography use within romantic relationships, Rasmnussen (2016) suggested that PPU may instead highlight ongoing difficulties within the romantic relationship (e.g., poor communication between partners, fantasies regarding infidelity, low commitment to a partner, withdrawal from the romantic relationship, and decreased sexual satisfaction), of which pornography could be both a cause and a consequence. Furthermore, prior research linked pornography use with extra-dyadic relationships, which may facilitate feelings of betrayal by a partner and conflict within a romantic relationship (Braithwaite, Coulson, Keddington, & Fincham, 2015;Morrissette, 2012). In other words, the relationship between PPU and IPV perpetration may be indirect and moderated by a number of personal and sociocultural variables that are beyond the scope of the present study.…”

A Contextual Perspective on Associations Between Reported Parental Infidelity and Relational Ethics of the Adult Children

“…Infidelity has been defined as behavior that breaks the relational contract that two people made with each other (Hertlein, Wetchler, & Piercy, 2005;Lusterman, 1998;Morrissette, 2012). Infidelity is viewed considerably more negatively than any other form of relationship betrayal, and consequently has dramatic effects on the couple relationship (e.g., Afifi, Falato, & Weiner, 2001;Brase, Caprar, & Voracek, 2004;Feeney, 2004;Hertlein et al, 2005;Sweeney, 2001;Vangelisti, 2006).…”