Box integrals-expectations | r| s or | r − q| s over the unit n-cube (or nbox)-have over three decades been occasionally given closed forms for isolated n, s. By employing experimental mathematics together with a new, global analytic strategy, we prove that for n ≤ 4 dimensions the box integrals are for any integer s hypergeometrically closed in a sense we clarify herein. For n = 5 dimensions, we show that a single unresolved integral we call K 5 stands in the way of such hyperclosure proofs. We supply a compendium of exemplary closed forms that naturally arise algorithmically from this theory.