Memory Keepers: A Narrative Study on Siblings Never Known

Abstract

Drawing on literature relevant to the impact of sibling death, the authors examined the invisible loss of siblings never known. This article presents findings of a phenomenological study of 15 adult siblings who "storied" the psychological presence and power of a deceased infant sibling never known but who acted as memory keepers for their unknown sibling. Transcriptions of the 15 interviews were analyzed usng NVivo software to support development of thematic categories. The initial 29 subthemes were collapsed into 3 overarching themes of personal loss/ unacknowledged loss, continuing bonds/memory keeping and sense-making. The participants' experiences reflect support for unaddressed and unacknowledged loss for the phenomenon of loss of an unknown sibling. The retrospective narratives echo their perceived roles as memory keepers of their unknown siblings. For many participants, the research process itself was the first recognition of a sense of loss.

Adolescents’ Experiences of Having a Stillborn Half-Sibling

“…For the adolescents the stillborn baby furthermore was a natural part of their lives even though most of them were not thinking of the baby so often. But in some way they describe something that can be seen as a kind of continuing bonds, a result consistent with previous findings Kempson & Murdock, 2010;Rowe, 2007), which describe continuing bonds with a sibling not physically known.…”

“…Hence the benefits of present study are the unique sample consisting of adolescents who experienced the loss recently, by contrast with other research on adults who experienced the loss in childhood and in addition had experienced the loss either as a surviving child or as a subsequent born child (Kempson & Murdock, 2010;O'Leary & Gaziano, 2011). Further contribution to the relevant research and literature is the confirmation of previous findings; how the loss of the stillborn baby for the siblings meant a loss of their parents as well.…”

“…Nevertheless, not having known the sibling does not mean that they feel that they are unaffected by the loss; the baby is still a part of their family. According to Kempson and Murdock (2010), having an invisible sibling never known makes them important as memory keepers of their unknown sibling. Having the stillborn as a part of the family and its memory is reflected in this study, but for most of the adolescents the continuing and strong personal connection with their sibling is most conspicuous during the first year after the stillbirth.…”

“…Suddenly, these children become bereaved siblings before they had the chance to act as just siblings. Kempson and Murdock (2010) named this situation "the invisible loss of siblings never known," in their study they interviewed 15 adults (range from 22-60 years) who either directly experienced a sibling loss when they were young children or who were born into a family after that family had experienced the loss. Similarly, O' Leary and Gaziano (2011) in their article present impact on perinatal loss on siblings who today are adult and experienced the loss as a child; they interviewed eight adults who experienced the loss either as a surviving child or as a subsequent born child.…”

Always With Me: Understanding Experiences of Bereaved Children Whose Baby Sibling Died

“…In contrast, five adult women who were born after infant death, but into families who did not acknowledge the loss, felt either invisible or overprotected (O'Leary et al, 2006). Similarly, 10 women and five men aged 22 to 60 years whose infant sibling died at or near birth reported personal loss or unacknowledged loss as well as continuing bonds=memory keeping, and sense making as three overarching themes (Kempson & Murdock, 2010). Likewise, adults and one adolescent whose sibling died in a neonatal intensive care unit reported that consequences were life-long despite the limited time for interaction, so that researchers recommended that ''clinicians should allow siblings to be active participants in the infant's brief life and death'' (Fanos et al, 2009, p. 849).…”