Men's and Women's Evaluations of Communication Skills in Personal Relationships: When Sex Differences Make a Difference and when they don't

Abstract

. Men's and women's evaluations of communication skills in personal relationships: When sex differences make a difference-and when they don't. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 13, 201-224. Published version:http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/0265407596132003 Abstract:Much recent research on gender and communication has emphasized differences in men's and women's communicative conduct, with some theorists going so far as to claim that men and women constitute different cultures. However, comparatively little research has assessed both similarities and differences in men and women's communication to determine whether the sexes are more alike or different. The present paper provides such assessments with respect to men's and women's evaluations of the importance of diverse communication skills in two relationships, friendship and romance. Two studies are reported. In Study 1, participants (N = 382) evaluated the importance of eight communication skills in same-sex friendships. Results indicated that although females rated affectively oriented communication skills as somewhat more important than males and males rated instrumentally oriented skills as somewhat more important than females, both males and females overwhelmingly viewed affectively oriented skills as more important than instrumental skills. Study 2 sought to replicate and extend the findings of Study 1 by having participants (N = 685) evaluate the importance of eight communication skills for either same-sex friendship or opposite-sex romances. Results virtually identical to those of Study 1 were obtained in Study 2 for both friendship and romance. Findings are discussed in terms of their implications for our understanding of communication in personal relationships and the different cultures perspective.

Sex Differences in Goals for Supportive Interactions

“…As other authors (Goldsmith & Fulfs, 1999;Kunkel & Burleson, 1998;Vangelisti, 1997) have increasingly argued, research on sex differences in communication does not support the idea that men and women are from different "planets," or even represent different subcultures, despite popular press and textbook claims of this type (Tannen, 1990;Wood, 2004). In the area of supportive communication, it appears that there are small differences in values (Burleson, Kunkel, Samter, & Werking, 1996;MacGeorge et al, 2003a), behaviors (Samter, 2002;MacGeorge et al, 2004), and goals (Burleson & Gilstrap, 2002;current study), but that men and women are far more similar than different. Theoretically, this convergence of research findings indicates the need for more accurate and sophisticated theorizing about sex differences in communication (see also Canary, Emmers-Sommer, & Faulkner, 1997;Shields, 2000), incorporating such probable influences as biology, role socialization, and differential status or power (Eagly et al, 2000).…”

Some Consequences for Helpers Who Deliver “Cold Comfort”: Why it's Worse for Women than Men to be Inept When Providing Emotional Support

“…Talking about feelings, nurturing, and the mutual provision of emotional support have been identified as fundamental features of women's friendships (e.g., Aries & Johnson, 1983;Caldwell & Peplau, 1982;Fox, Gibbs, & Auerbach, 1985;Johnson, 1996). Women place a premium on the supportive communication skills of their friends (Burleson, Kunkel, Samter, & Werking, 1996;MacGeorge, Feng, & Butler, 2003). Moreover, the value women place on the comforting skills of their friends is associated with their degree of acceptance by female peers (Samter & Burleson, 1990).…”

When Should Advice Be Given? Assessing the Role of Sequential Placement of Advice in Supportive Interactions in Two Cultures

“…Depending on characteristics of specific support situation, such as causes of stress, emotional support may be manifested as esteem support, which focuses on helping the target maintain or restore selfesteem or positive self-identity through verbal and/or nonverbal expressions of concern, affection, reassurance, and positive appraisal (Collins & Feeney, 2004;Cramer, 2003;Weisz & Wood, 2005;Wills, 1985). Therefore, in this study, emotional support is viewed as encompassing esteem support (Dakof & Taylor, 1990;Graetz, Shute, & Sawyer, 2000;Holmstrom & Burleson, 2011).Substantial research has documented the salutary effects of sensitive emotional support on the physical and psychological well-being of individuals, as well as the maintenance and development of personal relationships (e.g., Acitelli, 1996;Burleson, Kunkel, Samter, & Werking, 1996;Samter, 1994;Whitbeck, Hoyt, & Huck, 1994). Correspondingly, the provision of emotional support has been consistently evaluated as a helpful and appropriate response to an individual's stress across a wide range of situations, and across cultures (for reviews, see Feng & Burleson, 2006;MacGeorge et al, 2011).…”