On Being an Ill Parent

Abstract

Limited research and clinical attention has been paid to the experience of being an ill parent, so that parents are given little support in preparing for the effect their illness might have on their children. In this article, we explore how parents manage being a patient and a parent at the same time, focusing on three themes which have emerged: parental fears that illness renders them less fit to meet the needs of their children; dilemmas about balancing self-care with the care of others; and how the illness can evoke feelings that relate to previous trauma, influencing their responses to their children in the present. We highlight how these issues do not happen in isolation, but in the context of ongoing intimate, family relationships. We suggest that if they are not addressed, parents and children are left unprepared to meet the demands which illness poses. Finally, we examine the implications for clinical work in this area.

Parenting with Type 1 Diabetes: The Relationship between Parenting Support and Stress

“…The Parenting Support subscale is a 6-item, self-report measure that assesses the level of perceived social support related to parenting (e.g., "someone to help you in an emergency? "), utilizing a 7-point Likert response scale ranging from none (0) to high (6). Total scores capture overall perceived parenting support, ranging from 1 -36 in this sample, with higher scores suggesting the receipt of more support.…”

“…In a review of the experience of parenting when ill, the authors discuss several recurring themes for parents with illness, including fears about parenting ability in light of illness and concerns about balancing self-care with caring for others [6]. Illness and illness-related sequelea may negatively impact a parent's perception of their ability to competently provide care and security to their children [6].…”

“…Illness and illness-related sequelea may negatively impact a parent's perception of their ability to competently provide care and security to their children [6]. Confidence in the ability to parent is an important concept for overall well-being in parents, regardless of health status.…”

‘In sickness and in health’: the development of alternative discourses in work with families with parental illness

“…Through listening closely to their descriptions of their parenting and the dilemmas experienced, we have come to recognize the way in which the illness and invasive medical treatment can reawaken prior trauma for many. This has encompassed a number of different experiences, including physical, emotional or sexual abuse (Altschuler and Dale, 1999). This has been a complex part of the work.…”

New mothers and their babies: attachment in the face of maternal life‐threatening illness

“…It also brings dilemmas for both families and professionals. As Altschuler and Dale (1999) have said, the study of the impact of parental physical illness on the lives of partners and children remains a neglected area. Similarly it seems that, as in the field of family therapy more generally, the issue of how to take account of and address the needs of very young children in this situation has been neglected in the literature.…”