Contemporary consumers demand healthier and more nourishing food, and thus, alternative foods that are low-calorie in fats and/or sugars are preferred. These desired properties may be attained by substituting the fatty acid esters of erythritol and pentaerythritol due to their antioxidant action and low toxicity for humans. In this work, the catalyzed hydrolysis of five fatty acid tetraesters of erythritol and/or pentaerythritol by both porcine pancreas type VI-s lipase (PPL) and Candida antarctica lipase-B (CALB) were studied kinetically. In all cases, except the hydrolysis of pentaerythritol tetrastearate by CALB, Michaelis–Menten kinetics were observed. In addition, the pKa values of the fatty acids released due to the catalyzed hydrolysis of the studied tetraesters by CALB were estimated. In the course of the aforementioned procedures, it was found that the CALB-catalyzed hydrolysis was incomplete to various degrees among four of the five studied tetraesters (excluding erythritol tetraoleate), and one or more estimated apparent pKa values were obtained. These results are novel, and by means of applied methodology, they reveal that erythritol and/or pentaerythritol tetraesters of medium- and long-chain fatty acids are suitable candidates for use as beneficial alternatives to butter and/or sweeteners.