Prodigal Children: Why Older Mothers Favor Their Once-Deviant Adult Children

Abstract

Objectives Past research suggests that adult children who reform their deviant behaviors (i.e., problems with drugs/alcohol or the law) are more likely to become favored by their mothers, yet the reasons underlying this phenomenon are unclear. This study employs a longitudinal, qualitative approach to explore why adult children’s behavioral reforms shape changes in maternal favoritism. Method Analyses are based on qualitative interview data collected at 2 points 7 years apart from older mothers regarding their adult children in 20 families. Each of these families had a “prodigal child”—a child for whom desistance from deviant behaviors between the 2 waves was accompanied by newfound maternal favoritism. Results Findings revealed 2 conditions under which mothers came to favor reformed deviants over their siblings. First, this occurred when adult children’s behavioral reformations were accompanied by mothers’ perceptions of these children as having grown more family-oriented. Second, this occurred when mothers came to see reformed deviants as exhibiting a stronger need and appreciation for maternal support, relative to their siblings. Discussion Mothers’ perceptions of children’s behavioral reformations as being accompanied by greater dedication to family or reflecting a need for their mothers’ support offer 2 explanations for why previously deviant adult children may become mothers’ favored offspring. These findings contribute to a growing body of scholarship on the complexity of intergenerational relations by shedding new light on changing patterns of favoritism in families with a history of parental disappointment, conflict, and strain.

Patterns and Processes of Intergenerational Estrangement: A Qualitative Study of Mother–Adult Child Relationships Across Time

“…Similarly, work by Suitor and colleagues showed that mothers sometimes favored reformed deviants over all of their other offspring. Further, a recent qualitative article from the same group (Kincaid et al, 2021) revealed such cases of "prodigal children" occurred only when adult children desisted from their deviant behaviors and showed appreciation for their mothers' support in helping them overcome these problems. However, mothers in the current study did not report such changes in their relationships with any of the offspring from whom they were estranged at T1.…”

How gender shapes sibling tension in adulthood following parental death

“…The Time 1 sample consisted of 566 mothers, which represented 61% of those who were eligible for participation, a rate comparable to that of similar surveys in the 2000s (Wright & Marsden, 2010). (Further details of the design can be found in Kincaid et al, 2022; Suitor & Pillemer, 2006; Suitor et al, 2013 and at https://web.ics.purdue.edu/%7Ejsuitor/within-family-differences-study, where portions of this section have been published previously. )…”