Using a case study, this paperdescribes initial results from qualitative research with women widowed as a result of con£ict in Kashmir. Recognising resilience as a process that contributes to a sense of wellbeing, this paper highlights how this process also often involves experiencing and exercising overlapping identities of being a 'victim' , 'widow, and a 'mother' for women within con£ict contexts. Further, the paper questions simplistic readings of resilience and wellbeing that classify people as resilient or not resilient, and classify relationships, identities, and feelings in terms of ' good' or 'bad' by re£ecting on questions such as: 'is belief or portrayal of oneself as a victim unhelpful or negative? Or, is worrying bad?'The case study included here is one of the ¢fty qualitative interviews conducted as part of PhD research on resilience among women widowed due to con£ict in Kashmir.