Risking the social bond: motivations to defend or to repair when dealing with displeasing information

Abstract

Our choice to withhold or disclose displeasing information to another can motivate concern about damage to our social bonds. In two experiments, using two different samples of university students in Norway, (N = 174 and N = 217), we found that withholding unpleasant information led to greater concern for self- image and social-image than did disclosure. We also found that withholding elicited more shame, inferiority and rejection than disclosure, and in Experiment 2, withholding elicited more defensive motivation than disclosure. Consistent with our model, defensive motivation was mostly explained by concern for social-image, whereas relationship repair motivation was mostly explained by concern for self-image and felt shame. We discuss implications for the literature on shame and social bonds.

Refusing to tolerate ongoing prejudicial behavior toward immigrants: Together we can object to prejudicial flag displays

“…However, the result from the current study demonstrates that shameful “attached identifiers” do not always resort to withdrawal and leave it with that, rather, they approach the situation and start thinking about social mobilization to try to end prejudicial flag-displays. This study therefore lends some initial support for Leach and Cidam (2015) but extends it by supporting Gausel and colleagues’ ( Gausel and Leach, 2011 ; Gausel et al, 2012 , 2018 ; see also Løkkeberg et al, 2021 ) view of shame as a potent motivator of pro-sociality meant to benefit those harmed by injustice.…”

Interpersonal transgressions and psychological loss: Understanding moral repair as dyadic, reciprocal, and interactionist

“…The inability to have open conversations or disclose one's views and feelings further reduces relationship satisfaction and closeness [31]. Concealment is associated with higher concerns for self and social image, as well as feelings of shame, inferiority, and rejection [32]. These processes can become cyclic as the losses of the transgression cause both parties to put up defenses that reduce their co-engagement, which can amplify their feelings of psychological loss.…”

Experiences of quality of life in people with Multiple Sclerosis who are in a wheelchair

“…This was combined into an experience of having a reduced self‐esteem. We know from previous studies that the experience of one's self‐image and social image is very important for feeling accepted, recognized and valued (Løkkeberg, 2016 ; Løkkeberg et al., 2021 ). This can be put to the test when people become less mobile and become dependent on using a wheelchair to be able to move.…”