Saying “thank you”: Partners’ expressions of gratitude protect relationship satisfaction and commitment from the harmful effects of attachment insecurity.

Abstract

Five studies examined whether receiving gratitude expressions from a romantic partner can buffer insecurely attached individuals from experiencing low relationship satisfaction and commitment. In Study 1, the negative associations between attachment avoidance and both satisfaction and commitment were weaker among individuals who perceived that their partner expressed gratitude more frequently. The same pattern was found with attachment anxiety and satisfaction. Study 2 showed that among individuals who perceived high (vs. low) levels of gratitude expressions from the partner, both attachment dimensions were less strongly related to the belief that the partner is low in communal strength, which, in turn, was associated with greater satisfaction and commitment. In Studies 3-5, we examined whether perceptions or a partner's actual gratitude expression can have benefits on insecurely attached individuals' daily satisfaction. Our results indicated that perceived, rather than a partner's self-reported, gratitude expressions were critical to buffering insecurely attached individuals' daily dissatisfaction. Study 5 also provided evidence for long-term benefits of perceiving a partner's gratitude expressions on avoidantly attached individuals' relationship. Perceiving high levels of a partner's gratitude expressions on average enhanced avoidantly attached individuals' feelings of being cared for by the partner 3 months later, which were associated with greater satisfaction and commitment. Results from our meta-analysis indicated that benefits of perceiving a partner's gratitude expressions may be specific to buffering the negative effects of attachment avoidance on satisfaction. Overall, our findings highlight the powerful function of gratitude in insecurely attached individuals' romantic relationships.

Can close romantic relationships last? The commitment of partners in married and cohabitant couples

“…The latter may hinder partners, especially men, from leaving the relationship. Studies (Park, Impett, MacDonald, & Lemay, 2019) have shown that partners' expression of their grateful feelings, when perceived, may serve as a reminder of the communal nature of the relationship, and can have positive effects on romantic relationships.…”

Partners’ Relationship Mindfulness Promotes Better Daily Relationship Behaviours for Insecurely Attached Individuals

“…Another fruitful research direction is examining whether these associations extend to observable behaviours as well as self-reported behaviours. While relationship behaviours are predictive of global outcomes, including relationship quality, trust, and wellbeing [ 25 , 40 , 41 ], they may have different implications for global relationship outcomes if objectively observable. For example, Li and Chan [ 1 ] found that attachment anxiety and avoidance were more negatively associated with constructive interaction when this was measured using observational measures (vs. self-report measures), but more positively associated with destructive interactions when these were assessed using self-report (vs. observational) measures.…”

“…They may involve communicating how and why certain needs and requests are reasonable, respecting the avoidant individual’s need for autonomy within the context of positive relationship experiences. Recent empirical research has found that avoidance is buffered by gratitude, positive relationship experiences, and a partner’s non-verbal affectionate communication [ 6 , 25 , 26 ], whereas anxiety is buffered by physical touch, general mindfulness, and higher perceived partner support [ 5 , 27 , 28 ]. A process which may buffer both anxiety and avoidance is RM, as, theoretically, it should downregulate hyperactivating and deactivating strategies [ 27 ].…”

“…Additionally, we explored whether daily RM buffered relations between attachment anxiety and avoidance and next-day relationship behaviours to examine whether potential buffering effects held over a longer period. This is both theoretically and practically valuable because relationship behaviours are predictive of more global outcomes, including relationship quality, trust, and wellbeing, which have implications for public health [ 3 , 25 , 40 , 41 ]. We tested actor–actor, partner–partner, and cross-partner effects of attachment and daily RM predicting daily behaviours.…”

“…We predicted that daily RM would be associated with lower levels of negative behaviours and higher levels of positive behaviours for individuals both high and low in attachment avoidance, but that the slope would be steeper for individuals high in attachment avoidance. RM may increase avoidant individuals’ comfort with intimacy and improve awareness of automatic responses, helping it to buffer avoidance, as other protective factors do [ 6 , 8 , 25 ] ( CH3b ).…”