In this study we compare techno-economics and life cycle assessment of thermochemical depolymerization technologies, including pyrolysis, gasification, hydrocracking, hydrothermal liquefaction, and hydrogenolysis, to generate various products from low-density polyethylene (LDPE) waste. We elucidate the effects of production scale, collection cost, and concentration of LDPE in plastic waste. Pyrolysis of LDPE to olefins followed by their conversion to lubricant oils is the most profitable technology. Hydrogenolysis, producing a small fraction of lubricant oils, becomes profitable at plant sizes above 25 kt/y and produces the lowest CO 2 emissions. Hydrocracking is the second most environmentally friendly technology but becomes economically competitive at sufficiently large scales, and the supply chain for collecting plastics is optimized. Gasification of LDPE to H 2 produces high emissions, and the price of H 2 of ∼3 $/kg is higher than current markets and recently announced goals. Similarly, hydrothermal liquefaction also gives high emissions, making carbon capture systems imperative for both technologies. Our results demonstrate that lowering the cost of sorting LDPE from plastic waste, collecting waste near big cities, building sufficiently large plants, and achieving high selectivity to value-added products are critical to successful plastic waste management.