The total amount of cellulose from paper, wood, food, and other human activity waste produced in the EU is in the order of 900 million tons per year. This resource represents a sizable opportunity to produce renewable chemicals and energy. This paper reports, unprecedently in the literature, the usage of four different urban wastes such as cigarette butts, sanitary pant diapers, newspapers, and soybean peels as cellulose fonts to produce valuable industrial intermediates such as levulinic acid (LA), 5-acetoxymethyl-2-furaldehyde (AMF), 5-(hydroxymethyl)furfural (HMF), and furfural. The process is accomplished by the hydrothermal treatment of cellulosic waste using both Brønsted and Lewis acid catalysts such as CH3COOH (2.5–5.7 M), H3PO4 (15%), and Sc(OTf)3 (20% w:w), thus obtaining HMF (22%), AMF (38%), LA (25–46%), and furfural (22%) with good selectivity and under relatively mild conditions (T = 200 °C, time = 2 h). These final products can be employed in several chemical sectors, for example, as solvents, fuels, and for new materials as a monomer precursor. The characterization of matrices was accomplished by FTIR and LCSM analyses, demonstrating the influence of morphology on reactivity. The low e-factor values and the easy scale up render this protocol suitable for industrial applications.