Few psychodynamic thinkers have explored friendship from a selfpsychological perspective. Many have suspected, but this study is the first of its kind to demonstrate through a rigorous qualitative research process that selfobject needs are, in fact, experienced in friendships. This phenomenological study offers an in-depth exploration of how 13 midlife women experienced their long-term friendships. Factors promoting structure building and cohesion strengthening are present in friendships. Learning how one's client approaches friendships can offer clinical insight into selfobject needs, since one's pattern of approaching relationships is enacted in friendships. Offering a psychodynamic understanding of friendship deepens therapeutic understanding of self. KEYWORDS self psychology; life course theory; midlife women; friendship Few psychodynamic thinkers have examined friendship and even fewer have been interested in friendship from a self-psychological perspective. Unconscious processes that ensue in friendships have been largely ignored. When friendships have been considered through a psychodynamic lens, the process has involved observations and experience, not research. Furthermore, literature on the topic has typically focused on psychiatric populations instead of healthy individuals (Galatzer-Levy & Cohler, 1993) while this study involved a non-clinical sample. Long-term friendships are psychologically significant in getting one's needs met and are an important protective factor against negative feeling states, yet little is known about psychodynamic aspects of friendships between midlife women, a population with the highest rate of depression (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2012). Until this study, there was no research on friendships in midlife women from a psychodynamic perspective, which results in very limited understanding of in-depth processes in this key relationship. The modern depiction of friendship through reality television is infused with conflict (up to 84.67 times per hour according to Coyne, Robinson, and Nelson CONTACT Michelle Piotrowski