Based on longitudinal research with (heterosexual) couples in London, this chapter tracks their experiences of becoming parents for the first time. The suggestion is that new parents in the UK are caught in an uncomfortable confluence between competing narratives around two competing ideals: those around relationships and those around parenting. On the one hand, they must be committed to egalitarian ideas about the division of care, while at the same time parenting 'intensively', in ways which are markedly more demanding for mothers, both physically and in terms of their own 'identity work' (Faircloth 2013). Drawing on but extending the scholarship of Illouz (2007Illouz ( , 2012 with a focus on parenthood, the chapter points to the difficulty of reconciling tensions between partnering and parenting, particularly when these are based on investments and commitments beyond individual 'choices.'