The Experience of Relationship Dissolution among British South Asian Gay Men: Identity Threat and Protection

Abstract

Relationship dissolution has generally been associated with decreased psychological well-being, but little is known about how ethnic and religious minority gay men experience and cope with relationship dissolution. This article examines interview data from sixteen self-identified British South Asian gay men who provided insights into how they experienced and coped with relationship dissolution and into the potential effects of this for identity. Data were analyzed qualitatively using interpretative phenomenological analysis and identity process theory. The following themes are outlined: (i) constructing identity around the relationship; (ii) relationship breakdown and threats to identity; and (iii) repairing identity in silence. The data indicate the centrality of the relationship to identity because of its ability to enhance identity processes and the detrimental effect for identity processes that dissolution can therefore have. Individuals relied heavily upon intrapsychic, deflection strategies for coping with identity threat, which was due to a general lack of social support. Minority group members who are fearful of disclosing their sexual identity to others may cope inadequately with relationship dissolution, exposing identity to chronic threat.

Identity Threat and Coping Among British South Asian Gay Men During the COVID-19 Lockdown

“…(Baljit) It’s hard to call and speak so I’m a bit worried because we don’t talk as often and before I was seeing him a lot and it could just, he could be cheating on me or maybe find someone else. (Ahmed) In previous research, it has been shown that BSAGM experience challenges in developing and maintaining romantic relationships and in managing relationship dissolution because many pursue their relationships in secrecy and derive only limited social support from others (Jaspal 2015 ). Similarly, Baljit described the insularity and intensity of his relationship with his partner—more specifically, he reported that they did not have friends in common and that they were heavily reliant on one another.…”

Parental accepting and rejecting behaviors: Experiences of South Asian gay and bisexual men in Canada

“…There is a dearth of research pertaining to parental and community support for South Asian gay and bisexual men in Western nations (Adams & Neville, 2020; Jaspal, 2015), and particularly in Canada (Durrani & Sinacore, 2016). This study provides a further contribution to the literature about the experiences of parental support of Canadian South Asian gay and bisexual young men, a group about which little is known in a country with a substantial South Asian population.…”

“…Durrani and Sinacore (2016) interviewed Canadian South Asian gay men ( n = 4) who expressed that homophobic attitudes within their community added to the challenge of coming out to friends and family members about their sexual orientation. In addition, South Asian gay and bisexual men have resisted disclosing their sexual orientation to their families for fear of being estranged from them and their social networks (Jaspal, 2015).…”

Assessing the availability and efficacy of LGBTQI specific suicide prevention programs

“…While this is not specific to the LGBTQI population, the experience can be very different to a cisgender/heterosexual person who is experiencing the end of a relationship. In some cases, family, friends and/or society do not acknowledge the legitimacy of LGBTQI romantic relationships (Fingerhut andMaisel 2010, Skerrett et al 2017), whereas in other cases, the person has not come out and so their relationship is kept a secret (Jaspal 2015). Therefore, experiences of relationship grief and loss are sometimes invisible and/or not acknowledged (Fingerhut and Maisel 2010, Jaspal 2015, Skerrett et al 2017.…”

“…In some cases, family, friends and/or society do not acknowledge the legitimacy of LGBTQI romantic relationships (Fingerhut andMaisel 2010, Skerrett et al 2017), whereas in other cases, the person has not come out and so their relationship is kept a secret (Jaspal 2015). Therefore, experiences of relationship grief and loss are sometimes invisible and/or not acknowledged (Fingerhut and Maisel 2010, Jaspal 2015, Skerrett et al 2017. Indeed, a decreased sense of validity or legitimacy about their relationship may increase the person's vulnerability during times of relationship discord and decrease their capacity or willingness to seek support from others, further isolating them during an already distressing time (Skerrett et al 2017).…”