The importance of similarity and understanding of partners' marital ideals to relationship satisfaction

Abstract

This article extends earlier work on the association between relationship partners' similarity and understanding about marital ideals and relationship satisfaction by controlling for individual differences in stereotype endorsement or typical responding. For heterosexual couples we separated a measure of understanding into the general understanding of partners and understanding that is unique to the specific relationship partner. The measures of similarity and understanding were also separated into general similarity and understanding and into those that are unique between partners. We examined the contribution of each type of similarity and understanding to relationship satisfaction in 238 dating and married couples. Findings indicate that the more satisfied individuals believe that the partner endorses a “female” stereotype. Understanding does not relate to length of the relationship or satisfaction, but similarity in values does There is some indication that marital discord decreases with an increase in the male partners' understanding of their female partners.

The calm after the storm

“…This expectation is supported by empirical studies in which couples become more similar in terms of their attitudes and emotions over time (Acitelli, Kenny, & Weiner, 2001;Anderson, Keltner, & John, 2003). Similarly, as Arriaga (2001) suggests, some couple members will learn to ''synchronize their behaviors in a manner that consistently leads to good outcomes .…”

Agreement and understanding about honesty and deception rules in romantic relationships

“…Inferences about others may also reflect stereotypic knowledge (Kenny & Acitelli, 1994), such as expectations for male/female standards of openness (Afifi & Joseph, 2009). As with projection, stereotypes sometimes provide a valid basis for understanding the partner (Acitelli, Kenny, & Weiner, 2001). However, it is useful to distinguish between understanding resulting from stereotypes or projection versus perspective taking based on the effortful process of cognitive decentering and perception checking.…”

“…followed by five issues (keeping secrets, not sharing relevant information, honesty, deceptive behavior, and distorting the truth). The measure was modeled after a question used by Acitelli et al (2001) to assess frequency of disagreements. Responses were recorded on 4-point Likert-type scales (''not at all'' to ''great extent'').…”

Social power and emotional experience: Actor and partner effects within dyadic interactions

“…A dyadic approach starts from the assumption that a partner's social power is not merely the inverse of one's own social power (Lawler & Bacharach, 1979). Individuals within relation ships might both wield significant influence over one another, as in many romantic bonds (Acitelli, Kenny, & Weiner, 2001). Or, two individuals might have little influence over one another, as when individuals do not depend on each other for resources.…”