As any caregiver will attest, understanding the needs of your child is a complicated business. Understanding the varied needs of a population of children with whom you have no direct contact is near impossible, yet it is the challenge policy makers, government planners and donors face when making policy or selecting interventions to fund and implement. They cannot unpack each child's individual needs and so must predict what is most important for a given population and which services should therefore be prioritised. Priority setting can be simplified by assuming that the needs of other people's children are hierarchical. If needs are hierarchical, basic needs, such as food and shelter, must be met before it is possible or necessary to consider higher order needs, such as belonging and self-actualisation. This conceptualisation justifies a focus on basic needs and decision makers can ignore higher order needs and the complex interventions they may require, because both are assumed to be of secondary importance. We suggest that assuming needs are hierarchical and thus focusing on basic needs is a mistake. By drawing on examples from the literature, we outline how children, our own and other people's, have non-hierarchical needs thus caring for them is a balancing act, best done by those close to them. This conceptualisation of need highlights the importance of families and therefore how policy makers wishing to support children with whom they are not in close contact should focus on creating an enabling environment for families. For a subset of families who are struggling, additional family strengthening interventions may be needed. In the relatively rare cases that such interventions are insufficient as family function is severely compromised, more intensive interventions may be necessary, but must be undertaken with great care and skill. Social services are critical because they have a potential role along the continuum of need, from initial identification of problems, to service access and then direct support. They have the potential to facilitate the intensive interventions when they are required, and while they are not required by all, for some of the most vulnerable children they are essential. The quality standards of such a service will be key in meeting the needs of other people's children.